A Puzzled Penguin

i did it. i killed him  not really i didnt kill anyone. i mean how could i?  i would never i broke a poor boy's heart. i crushed his dreams  why?  a sacrifice had to be made it breaks my heart to watch this poor boy cry because he thought he would do better he thought he was strong, smart, and likeable i unfortunately had to prove him wrong there was no reason to i killed him. i did it

Happy Pi Day. I can’t remember many digits anymore. 3.141592653589 blah blah blah. For some history for all you nerds, pi was discovered almost 4000 years ago. Back then, it was only approximated to roughly 3, with some saying it was 3.125. Over time, approximations became more and more exact. And for you calculus strugglers right now, allow me to bless your eyes. Is this divergent or convergent??? Answer quickly. Yeah the picture gave away the answer. Of course it converges you silly goose. However, there's another way to approximate pi. I won’t bother explaining because in truth I’m too lazy, I forgot most of it, and it’s simply not worth our time here. You can read through it if you so desire. Okay, that was a big tangent. In order to get back on track, what was the reason for “happy Pi day?” Do I really mean to wish you a nice Pi day? Maybe. To some extent, I (like many) am just a people pleaser-ish. I do want people to have a nice day. On the other hand, I said that out of hab...

This guy, Brian Miska, is my version of  Sedaris’s French Teacher.  When being observed by him, the insults and jokes are endless. There is never a day where he will be satisfied. It is not uncommon to hear things like, “What the hell were you thinking?” and “That’s the worst thing I’ve seen all day”. Most memorably, he calls 2nd place (a very respectable ranking) “first place losers” But he’s not the only one like this. My first coach slammed his racket against the cart so many times I dreaded going to lessons. This other tall Serbian coach would mock our form and call us things like “chickens” and “little cat” (i can’t say the actual thing he said). There was always disappointment. Even after doing well, all it took was one tiny mistake to make the day a terrible one. One other coach made us run laps as punishment so much that almost ten percent of our lesson time was running. And worst of all, there were always punishments for losing. If you were lucky, it would be laps or ...

On May 21st 2024, I quietly vowed to never listen to Mendelssohn’s violin concerto again in my life. To most, this probably sounds absurd. Why in the world would I ever make a promise like this and for what reason? That night on May 21st 2024, I took my seat at 6:58pm and watched precisely one hour, seventeen minutes, and eleven seconds of music before I saw her walk on stage. After a very kind introduction and welcoming applause, she joined the orchestra 50 seconds after she walked on stage and absolutely blessed my ears. I remember my reaction to listening to that performance. I remember the awkward posture I was sitting in so my phone would be stable while video taping the performance, the awe in my eyes, and the exhilaration as the final note rang. Memories have a weird way of staying in our minds. I remember the performance was flawless, so perfect in fact, that I promised that would be the last time I would ever listen to that violin concerto. Despite many friends playing it, whe...