The Orange Man

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This guy, Brian Miska, is my version of  Sedaris’s French Teacher.  When being observed by him, the insults and jokes are endless. There is never a day where he will be satisfied. It is not uncommon to hear things like, “What the hell were you thinking?” and “That’s the worst thing I’ve seen all day”. Most memorably, he calls 2nd place (a very respectable ranking) “first place losers”

But he’s not the only one like this. My first coach slammed his racket against the cart so many times I dreaded going to lessons. This other tall Serbian coach would mock our form and call us things like “chickens” and “little cat” (i can’t say the actual thing he said). There was always disappointment. Even after doing well, all it took was one tiny mistake to make the day a terrible one. One other coach made us run laps as punishment so much that almost ten percent of our lesson time was running. And worst of all, there were always punishments for losing. If you were lucky, it would be laps or pushups. If you were unlucky, you would have to bend over and have the winning team serve 80-100 mph hard rubber balls at your behind.

However, when I think about all these coaches, I could not be more than grateful. All this constant yelling and punishment was just tough love. They have single handedly built and maintained my character, resiliency, and fitness. I know it seems unlikely, but I have heard of Brian Miska, yes that orange man, crying after wins, recognizing how much sacrifice the players, parents, and staff have made. He has never stopped expressing his gratitude, even at the end of a “first place loser season” he is always so grateful. And when he wins, he says “It truly takes a village to win a championship.” Despite the horrors everyone around him has gone through, there are truly methods to his madness. 


Comments

  1. LANGonardo Da VinciMarch 8, 2026 at 12:55 AM

    Great blog paul! I'm not sure if it was because of I was just terrible, but I do not remember Coach Brian like this. He would just mock me but that would be the end of it. I'm sure we have different experiences because the way you described him sounds like torture. But back to your blog, I really liked how you described him like he was a terrible person, then created a contrast when you talked about how you actually appreciated all this torture. The imagery when you described Brian also helps me vividly imagine what being his student would be like – 80-100 mph balls sounds terrible.

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  2. Sarvesh MasalkarMarch 8, 2026 at 2:36 PM

    Adding '80-100 mph rubber balls to the behind' to the list of things I never want to experience. This was a great read lol.... you managed to make a terrifying coaching style sound like a weirdly beautiful form of mentorship paralleing sedaris

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  3. Nicole LiMarch 8, 2026 at 5:56 PM

    wow paul this is great. Brian miska sure is the most infamous of all tennis coaches, I don't think a single little girl or boy who's ever stepped foot into the trc hasn't met him. I never knew he was so scary!! I also never knew he was so tender. This guy is the goat, he must take his kids to disneyland like
    3 times a year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Paul LeiMarch 8, 2026 at 6:12 PM

      he just went this weekend! advik payed for his trip btw

      Delete

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