my vegas

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“You can complain about rose bushes having thorns,
or you could be thankful that thorn bushes have roses.
perspective matters”
— probably someone smart

Las Vegas, aka sin city, is an oasis booming with life, noise, and gambling. Many go as a getaway from reality. Lucky for me, I can do the same within the comfort of my room.

Music is my getaway. The second I put on my headphones and start blasting Clinton Kane, Greig, or Elgar, I am magically transported to a beyond the earth experience. I never knew I could experience so many emotions without really experiencing anything. I don’t think I need to explain the other benefits of music or the positive impacts it has on a person. So let’s switch perspectives really quick.

Music isn’t always fun. Most of the times, I like performing, but I don’t like my performance. By performing, not only do I want to tell a story, but I also do the composer justice. There is pain in performance. I remember all the tiny mistakes I make, the slightly out of tune 4th finger, the rest I came in too early from, and of course, the artificial harmonics I absolutely butchered. Besides myself, I’m confident that almost no one remembers these mistakes. Yet, they still bother me.

Another thing that brothers me is my switching of instruments. I recently switched to viola for various reasons, and I have always felt uneasy. I had to say goodbye to my teacher of 7 years, pack up an instrument that served me for 5 years, and leave people I’ve been playing with since 6th grade. I’m sad. I feel like I cheated on my violin.

Perhaps one day music will be enjoyable to play, but until then, I will keep on playing. How else am I supposed to express myself? Every note has its nuance, and that’s what makes it beautiful.

btw ethan if you’re reading this, you are not safe, i will write about your love for reptiles next time :) watch out

Comments

  1. Ethan WangFebruary 28, 2026 at 4:32 PM

    Wow Paul. What a miraculous blog. I agree that often times, we focus too much on the little mistakes we made during performance even though no one else really cares. It's more important to just live in the moment and enjoy.
    I'm not very sure about where the threats are coming from. I presented scientific research a new biological species. I assume this is similar to the backlash Copernicus faced for his Heliocentric Theory.

    ReplyDelete

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