ok rebel

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It’s been a rough week. I’ve been stressed, geeked, and tweaked. I also realised that I possess zero self control, Yikes. Part of it is because I realized I am incapable of looking straight at people and holding a conversation, another part of it is watching Lalaland and wishing for a different ending until an ungodly time (6:13am). But most importantly, this week has been a rollercoaster for the seniors. 

My tennis coach, who is usually quite apathetic, even said that he felt nervous for the kids because a significant amount of their future will be set. College seems so close but far. In one year, we’ll be opening our decision letters and most likely get disappointing answers. All I want to be next year is normal, to have a quiet year. Yet, I don’t feel like normal, because being normal means you’re also perfect. I mean for normal distributions, it has requirements: it has to be a symmetric, bell shaped curve following the empirical rule. Maybe it’s not even the desire to be normal. It’s just the desire to be safe and quiet. When I think about the best we could do, I see something so similar. Just like Thi’s family's rejection of recording significant things, I too do that. It’s not that I don’t appreciate it when people acknowledge me, I just want to be peaceful. After all, what’s the meaning of this world anyways. Time flies, and just like Thi’s son, we move past hurt and we always are presented with challenges and opportunities. There is always a new day ahead of us, and for most people, that gives us meaning, things to look forward to. But tomorrow is never guaranteed, who knows what will happen. Maybe that uncertainty is why peace feels so valuable right now.


I don’t need to be exceptional. I don’t need to be remembered for anything. If meaning exists at all, maybe it’s not in standing out, but in the endurance to keep on grinding. Maybe normal isn’t the goal I was looking for. Maybe peace is. With this being the last blog of 2025, all I want is a quiet year. A steady breath. A life that doesn’t need to be symmetric or justified to be worth living. If tomorrow comes, that’s enough. And if it doesn’t, then at least today was lived gently.


thank you for listening to my ted talk

Comments

  1. Aditya SheelvanthDecember 14, 2025 at 2:14 PM

    This piece feels honest and raw, especially in how you connect stress, uncertainty, and the desire for peace to The Best We Could Do. The conclusion is powerful because it reframes meaning not as achievement, but as choosing gentleness and endurance.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Vihaan SridharDecember 14, 2025 at 3:21 PM

    I really enjoyed this blog. I love how emotional it was and how you put finding peace above all else. I liked how you connected i to the book aswell. I liked how you ended the blog acknowledging how if it doesn’t work out, atleast you were peaceful.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Miranda GeisertDecember 14, 2025 at 7:43 PM

    I loved how you were so vulnerable in this blog. It added so much depth and I liked how you connected your emotions to The Best We Could Do. I also liked how you pointed out that to be at peace you don’t need to be perfect. Good job, I loved reading this blog!

    ReplyDelete
  4. KeerthanaDecember 14, 2025 at 11:30 PM

    I really love how you talked about living in the present. It’s very creative and really resonated with me. I too don’t like taking pictures a lot because I want to enjoy the moment and it’s nice to see someone who feels the same way but deeper and meaningfully

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nicole LiDecember 14, 2025 at 11:36 PM

    genuinely a great blog paul, proud of you! IDK i thought the lala land ending was pretty good though.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Noah KwokDecember 14, 2025 at 11:37 PM

    Paul, your blogs usually leave me confused as it takes across your thoughts and how quickly it changes topics. While this blog parallels many of your others, your concluding thoughts about the new year and the uncertainty of the future really stuck with me. Very nice job Paul!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Katherine ParkJanuary 9, 2026 at 12:29 AM

    I'm reading this again to use you as an example for vocab this week. Very honest and interesting thoughts Paul.

    ReplyDelete

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