consider clinton kane

 Before we begin, would you mind listening to this song? 

What did you think of it? 

If you liked that one, do me a favor and listen to this (please): 

What did you think of that one?

I GUESS I’M IN LOVE really shaped me as a person. Despite the title suggesting otherwise, I find this song to be very depressing and very very very emo; just the way I like it :). The gut-wrenching tune and the geeked asf lyrics compliment each other very well don’t you think? Anyways, after I heard this masterpiece, I have been in love with his music. They are all so emotional, so gentle, and so authentic. But wait! This is where some of you say, “didn’t he lie about a lot of things?” Yes. He did. In fact, he lied about his mom dying. For many, this was enough for people to boycott his music and call all his previous songs fake. However, I’m not here to debate the authenticity of the claims for/against him or whether it is right or not to listen to the music of someone with bad character. Instead, I’m here to talk about his newest release: maybe i’m just a little too much. 

He sings, “And what if I was stupid in telling all my thoughts; Or what if that's the reason that I end up being all alone; In a crowded room but nеver really saying what I want.” Really, he’s scared. He doesn’t want to tell the truth because of the fear of being rejected or shunned from his friend or people group. 

For all my life, I’ve been fearful of the same thing. I don’t think I am a naturally born introvert. For starters, I love to talk. Just ask my close friends, they would tell you how I just cannot shut up talking about the things I love. However, the whole world (myself included) sees me an introvert. Why? It is because I'm just way too cool and nonchalant? I wish I could say that was the reason. The real reason is because I wnat to feel included. I'm scared that if everyone sees the crazy-acting person I am, many people will be disgusted of me. In a sense, I am like Clinton Kane. I don't say everything that comes to mind (maybe thats a good thing) and I certianly don't be valunerbale around friends or strangers alike. However, extending beyong this, I'm afraid of what I might do when I do become valunerable person. Will I be too much? This is something I often think about when texting my best friend. I'm not sure if I'm too annoying when I ask them about details on how their day was, what they had for lunch, or asking them what they are doing. I don't know if after I tell them about things I would rather not tell the world if they will will still see me the same. I don't know if I should always text them first or wait for them to text me. I really do not know when I become "too much". At the end of the day, I would choose to not say or do anything if I could. But why don't I? It's because how else do I show that I love and care for them? Maybe I am just a little too much. Maybe I am "too chalant" or "not cool enough", but you know what? Who cares. Mabye someday it'll all be okay (haha get it? that was his first album's name)