郑霄逸

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canon iso 400 55mm f5.6(please buy me a better lens) 1/250 s

Gender roles bring certain expectations on certain people. Most people have a negative connotation with the term, but I would disagree. In my life, I always wanted a big brother. One that could tell me what was ahead of me, one that I could annoy, and one that I could be completely honest with. I’m blessed that I have found one. 

They say you should never meet your heroes. Michael met me July 15th, 2023. At first, we didn’t talk much, and to be honest I didn’t notice him at all. When I got to school, I soon realised that we were in the same Chinese class.

Michael didn’t suddenly become a big part of my life. It happened subtly and slowly. Through small conversations, shared moments, and just being around each other, he became someone I could rely on. He never forced advice on me or tried to act like he had everything figured out. He just listened to what I had to say, and that mattered more to me than anything he could have said.

He’s taught me everything I know about photography. He’s sparked by love for nature. And most importantly, he’s taught me how to be a human being. Admittedly, I’ve cried more times with him than without him in the past 3 years. 


But just like an old brother, he also has his own things that I watch him go through. When we first started talking, he was usually very upset and emo. He slept a lot in class. He also wanted nothing to do with me sometimes (maybe I was a bit annoying). But it is because of moments like that where I know that it was for real.


Is there something wrong with looking for "brotherly" and "fatherly" traits in someone? I think not. By nature, mothers and fathers are different. They bring different things to the table, and that's okay to acknowledge. While it is in the best interest of everyone to not push certain roles to certain genders, it is okay to say we attribute qualities like protection, guidance, or nurturing to certain genders. But at the end of the day it's about the qualities themselves, not who's "supposed" to have them. We all need different things from different people, and there's nothing wrong with knowing what you're looking for.


Thank you Michael ♥️

Comments

  1. Nicole LiFebruary 6, 2026 at 10:51 PM

    having a big brother named michael is great :)

    this is a great blog paul, very tender and heartwarming just like fried chicken
    i especially love this last line of yours, and the idea that it is the qualities that were looking for, which are not necessarily gendered, but require friends and family of both to be fulfilled

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ethan WangFebruary 7, 2026 at 1:36 PM

    Paul, This blog resonated with me greatly because I had my own brother named Michael.
    Michael Zheng for Paul, Michale Li for Nicole, Michael Chen for Ethan.
    I really agree that an older brother figure is very important and they help you grow a lot
    btw beautiful photo. you are a good photographer

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousFebruary 7, 2026 at 5:52 PM

    Wow this is such an emotional blog Paul. I totally understand your point of view because I also have a sister that I depend on heavily. But I do wish I also had a brother named Michael.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anthony SalemFebruary 8, 2026 at 12:52 AM

    This is really genuine and well written. It feels honest without being cheesy, and the way you connect gender roles to a real relationship makes it hit harder. The gratitude at the end feels earned and sincere.

    ReplyDelete

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